As has happened so many times in the past, life got in the way…I let life get in the way of my plans. I’m struggling to make new habits stick. It’s been the story of my life! Why is it so hard to live the life I wish for myself? I don’t mean the things beyond my control, like having naturally straight dirty blond hair or being a couple inches taller. I mean the things I can choose for my life, like eating healthy, not leaving everything to the last minute, sticking with a fitness plan, saving money… Every January, it’s the same thing: I make a plan, stick with it for a day or so, then get distracted and the plan gets forgotten. Then I feel bad about myself and my lack of willpower…but nothing changes.

I’m going to be 40 in two days…I want my life to be different. I want to feel good when I look in the mirror. I want to look forward to the day ahead each morning. I want to be enthusiastic and energetic throughout the day. I want to be able to relax and turn off the teacher brain when I leave work. I want to live honestly with my thoughts and feelings. The life I design for myself on paper looks pretty good…so then why do I not do everything in my power to create it? I just don’t get it. But what I do get is another chance. Another year is starting for me. It’s time to get a new perspective of 40. It’s not going to be an easy year ahead – I know that for certain. But if I want my life to be different, I have to be different. To have a better life, I have to make better choices. To reap the rewards I want, I have to put forth the effort to earn them. And I have to demolish whatever those roadblocks are in my way. If I only knew what they were…